Friday morning, my mother was looking at me in the waiting room and told me how bad I looked. I knew I looked like I felt. I just wanted to get this thing out of the way.
Actually, the procedure wasn't as bad as the prep the day before, but I was still dealing with the emptiness at home and the depression of the light of my life no longer there. I now knew that she had been a bit snappy with me to make it easier for me to see her go. If she only knew.....
The doctor came in to my recovery room and said my colon was "clean as a whistle;" no bad news. Somehow, it didn't matter. I felt nothing.
My husband got home from his job up North and showed up at the hospital to relieve my mom, who really needed to get away. She has RA and struggles with any position for long periods of time, and she doesn't like to leave my dad alone for long. They're both growing old and lean on each other. It's so sweet....
Richard brought me home and led me to my recliner so I could be comfortable and watch TV or sleep as I needed. I was in no physical pain at all.
Later that evening, during my haze of nothingness, my daughter called me and asked me what I had done with Moriah. She told me that she was like a different child; she is sweet, willing to help, asks what time she needs to be home; does her homework like the old days, etc. She said, "Mom, I just want to thank you for all you did to bring my little girl back to me like she used to be. You worked wonders with her, and I can't believe the difference!" I started crying and told her all I did was love her like I was loved.
My year was made in that phone call, and my depression lifted. I told Vanessa that she needed to remind Craig to be positive and love her and treat her like the terrific person she is; to praise her and show his love for her though affection and words.
She came by this evening and stayed with us for about an hour. She and I had ordered a tote bags from L.L. Bean with my built-up pay-back points from my Discover card. They came in today's mail, so I called her, and it was such a wonderful treat to have her here with both of us. We all laughed and had a good time. She looked like a little doll and had finished her work shift and was going out with her friends. Cracked me up because she got in the freezer and took her chicken nuggets, chicken patties, Toaster Strudel; then she got in the cabinets and got her cereal, Pop Tarts, and everything she ate while here. It really tickled me to see her happy.
I'm now able to stitch away and enjoy it and know that my little girl is always with me and will remember all that Grandma sent her away with. By that I don't mean the things, but the love she deserves. Grandma is at peace again.