Saturday, April 14, 2007


Friday morning, my mother was looking at me in the waiting room and told me how bad I looked. I knew I looked like I felt. I just wanted to get this thing out of the way.

Actually, the procedure wasn't as bad as the prep the day before, but I was still dealing with the emptiness at home and the depression of the light of my life no longer there. I now knew that she had been a bit snappy with me to make it easier for me to see her go. If she only knew.....

The doctor came in to my recovery room and said my colon was "clean as a whistle;" no bad news. Somehow, it didn't matter. I felt nothing.

My husband got home from his job up North and showed up at the hospital to relieve my mom, who really needed to get away. She has RA and struggles with any position for long periods of time, and she doesn't like to leave my dad alone for long. They're both growing old and lean on each other. It's so sweet....

Richard brought me home and led me to my recliner so I could be comfortable and watch TV or sleep as I needed. I was in no physical pain at all.

Later that evening, during my haze of nothingness, my daughter called me and asked me what I had done with Moriah. She told me that she was like a different child; she is sweet, willing to help, asks what time she needs to be home; does her homework like the old days, etc. She said, "Mom, I just want to thank you for all you did to bring my little girl back to me like she used to be. You worked wonders with her, and I can't believe the difference!" I started crying and told her all I did was love her like I was loved.

My year was made in that phone call, and my depression lifted. I told Vanessa that she needed to remind Craig to be positive and love her and treat her like the terrific person she is; to praise her and show his love for her though affection and words.

She came by this evening and stayed with us for about an hour. She and I had ordered a tote bags from L.L. Bean with my built-up pay-back points from my Discover card. They came in today's mail, so I called her, and it was such a wonderful treat to have her here with both of us. We all laughed and had a good time. She looked like a little doll and had finished her work shift and was going out with her friends. Cracked me up because she got in the freezer and took her chicken nuggets, chicken patties, Toaster Strudel; then she got in the cabinets and got her cereal, Pop Tarts, and everything she ate while here. It really tickled me to see her happy.

I'm now able to stitch away and enjoy it and know that my little girl is always with me and will remember all that Grandma sent her away with. By that I don't mean the things, but the love she deserves. Grandma is at peace again.


stitcherw said...

I'm so glad that it all worked out in the end, reading though your various entries I was worried. It sounds like they have a better handle on things at her home, and hopefully her dad keeps his act together and acts supportive. Kids tend to live up (or down) to expectations so many times. It sounds like you gave her a wonderful legacy of your time together, memories she'll cherish. Also, she knows that you'll always support her, and if things get rough again she can go to you. That is a wonderful gift when that age can get so confused they don't know where to turn and can make so many bad choices because of it. I'm sorry that it was so rough on your her leaving, but it sounds like you've worked through the worst of it now. {{{hugs}}} my friend,

Von said...

Oh, thank goodness things worked out so well! I was bracing myself for something awful as I read through your account of the week.

I know you miss having your dgd in your home, but thank God you are there and available whenever she needs a breather from home or just some grandma time. You are passing on the legacy of love. There is nothing more important - nothing. :)

Susieq said...

Nancy, I am so glad to hear from you. I'm sorry that you've had a rough week, but it sounds like things are on the right road now. I know you miss Moriah though. I'm glad the Dr had a good report about all your tests. Take care.


Dianne said...

You did good coz!
It's nice to see when kids clean up so well. I thought she may be trying to grow up too fast. We can't seem to get our Sean to grow up, but that's a boy for you. He'll be 3 hours away in about 4 months-that will be strange, but he needs it.