Writing Backwards

I'm actually writing this on April 14, but I wanted to do it as a diary for what has happened in the last few days. It's been a roller coaster of emotions and physical discomfort for me, so I'd like to read back on it, as one does a diary, when I feel I can without hurting.

On Monday, April 9, Moriah came home after soccer practice and was in no mood to go anywhere, thank goodness. I was in a calm mood, as I had finally been to my last appointment to the doctor who cleared me of breast cancer. I actually had a fungus infection which was attributed to my excessive sweating, in part caused by some medication, and in part because I'm a sweater and always have been. However, I was in a great deal of physical pain in preparation for my colonoscopy scheduled for Thursday morning. I had to stay off my regular pain med because of its propensity to cause bleeding, and I could only take Tylenol for one week before the procedure. Tylenol is not effective for lupus pain. I crippled with every move.

I asked Moriah if she wanted to eat in or go somewhere. Not surprisingly, she wanted to go to McDonald's, which was great with me, and it's a short distance from home. We sat down and had a great conversation while we ate. I'd had her for a month, and after the first week, she had done a complete turn-a-round in her attitude. She had brought up her failing grades and had started getting home on time, if not a little early. I'd had a blow-up with her when I didn't know where she was, and I'd told her I'd see her after work. She didn't have the courtesy to answer her phone when I tried to reach her. I got her best friend's cell phone number, and her friend answered on the first ring. She handed the phone to Moriah. I told Moriah she had owed me a call and that if she didn't get her butt home, her next home was going to be the homeless shelter in the old stinky donut shop. She was home in five minutes, and I never had an ounce of trouble out of her after that. After that, I saw a bit of improvement each and every day. I told her how proud I was of her and that I thought she was a terrific person in every way.

Her self esteem bloomed like a flower, and I held my breath that her new temperament would hold. When she came to me, she was a sulky, miserable child, unwilling to do anything I suggested to help her in school, and she "pushed the envelope" when it came to getting home when I said.

We came home after McDonald's and watched a rented movie together, laughing hysterically, and she fell asleep on the couch, exhausted after the hours she puts in every day. She goes hard for 12 hours a day, with school, soccer practice, then sometimes even additional hours at work. I just covered her up, and she never stirred.